The Post After Cameroon.

I have been home from Africa for five weeks.

It is a crazy thought to think that five weeks ago I was living in Africa. Many people have approached me and asked me how I have been doing. How it has been being back in America?

I usually respond with “Yes, it is so great to be back.”

Trust me; I really am happy to be back, I am happy to be around family and good friends. It has been so nice to be able to talk to them instantly. But at the same time, my heart is saddened for the fact that Cameroon is all now a distant memory. I can no longer get out of bed and eat the best mango I have ever had in my life, I can no longer walk down the long dusty, now muddy, road to get to town. I no longer rely on taxis, and I no longer live in a house with several people.

At first all of those things were the struggle for me. It was hard to deal with living in a country with difficult roads, it was hard to live in a country where I did not have my car at hands length, and it was hard for me to live in a house where there was little privacy. It is funny how all of those things that were hard at first, now have become “safe”.

Being back, I no longer am surrounded by the people I grew to deeply love. My heart aches to be with the Jackson’s; I miss Maimu, Fadi, Lum, and Carol. I miss being in Africa with Kathleen. I always knew even in my tough times in Cameroon, that I was going to miss that place. I miss living in a Country that is stress-free. Yes, fact we did deal with a lot of stress and unwanted events in Cameroon…but the Country does not live by stress. Here in America we bust our butts every day…we wake up, go to work for eight plus hours, we come home, make dinner, workout, try to have family time, and then go to bed. We work ourselves to the core. All for what? We work our bones to the ground so that we can make our house payment? We work to pay off our student loans, we work so we can “have fun” on our few days off? No thank you.

Living in Cameroon really taught me to value the day that we have. Cameroon taught me to put all of my trust in God. What I mean is, working to the point where all we want to do is cry, working to the point where we have forgotten the point of this life, then why do it? Fact is we are here to be Disciples for Christ. We are here to share the Word to others. If you are working at a job where all you do is complain and hate life, what is the point? If you are working a job where you have “zero” time for God, then why do it? Why do we put ourselves in these positions? We do it because we want to have the control.

“I need to work this job because I need money to live my life.” “I need to work because it will take care of me.”

Shouldn’t we be thinking:

 “I am working this job because it challenges my faith, and it is an opportunity for me to share my faith to others.”

“I am working this job because it is where the Lord wants me to be.”

Instead we seek control and become miserable because we hate where we are. I also do realize that the Lord may have us in a job that we do not enjoy, and yes maybe we should be praying the God to help us change our attitude toward the job. But I think the point I am making, is that we have been programmed here in America to take a job because it makes good money. We may hate the job, but we just think suck it up because I am making bank.

My question is why? Why hate life, when you can just give the control up to God and allow him to place you where he wants you to be?

We are all so afraid to trust the Lord. We continually try to take control.

This is one of the biggest struggles I see in the States vs. Cameroon.

I pray that as I continue in this life, that I put all of my trust in the Lord. That I would just allow him to place me where he wants me to be placed, I pray that I do not allow the stress in life push me over the edge; I pray that I would continually give everything up to the Lord.

 

A lot of people have also been asking me how I have been doing dealing with everything that happened in Cameroon.

I feel overall I have been doing well transitioning back into the States. There have been some hard things, and then there have been some easy transitions (like finally having quality internet!). Overall, I really miss the people I lived with. I am so thankful that I was able to have that chapter in my life in Cameroon. I was so blessed to be able to be with Karen her last few days here on earth. I am so thankful that I was pushed to my limits there, because if it was not for those difficult times, I would have not grown in my faith. My life has radically changed because of my time in Cameroon.

I apologize if this post is random, all of this has just been bothering me, and I needed to write it out. I thank you again for all of the support, and for all of the prayers.

Love you all,

Sarah